WIITWD

Belief system or: WIITWD (What it is that we do)

Having read so many thought provoking posts in multiple blogs here, I feel the need to share some of my thoughts. It may tell you a little bit about how we (where we stands for my partner and me as well as several of our closer friends) think and interact. Fair warning: my ideas have often been perceived as radical so if you are amongst the people who prefer to see love and relationships as beautiful, almost Disney style Beauty & the Beast love stories and get very upset when people say it is otherwise.. please, do not read any further. Also please note that I don't really distinguish between the relationship with my partner and the relationships with others. I love all of them, just on different levels and for different reasons.

The path we have chosen in our dynamics has been greatly influenced by the way we see life and our tasks in it in general, our belief system. We call this the Ordeal Path and no, this is not a religion of any sort, but rather a way of interacting with the people around us, life, and the Universe. It is based on values such as honor, dignity, honesty, being fluid in our perceptions and ways of being, openness, compassion.

An important part of my way of thinking is that there basically are two cycles going on in our lives. One goes from pain to relaxation to pain to.. etc. The other one goes from growth to standing still to growth etc. Now those cycles are parallel. The moments of pain are the moments of growth, and the moments of relaxation are the moments where we stand still in our development, look back and evaluate, and let the lessons that are behind us sink in. Both are neccessary and needed, both are inevitable and thus to be accepted.

Another thing that is vital in understanding the way we think is the fact that we strongly believe we are in each other's life for a reason. Not "just" love, or being friends, or similar interests. We are together because we can offer each other just what it is he/she needs at that particular time. Two halves of a whole, yin and yang, a symbioses that was meant to be. Accepting this means that whatever it is that comes on my path, I will accept it and sooner or later I will discover the lesson that was hidden in there.

Having said that, I also believe that life is a solo quest. This may seem contradictory to the yin/yang statement I made earlier, but it really isn't. The symbiosis is a constantly changing dynamic, not a static situation. We interact with people in the way that is best at any given time and under the circumstances but as the dynamic changes, so do we and thus the energy between us. Other people may accompany us on the path for shorter or longer periods of time but in the end, we and we alone are responsible for our own happiness.

For that very reason I do not trust my loved ones. I love and accept them as they are instead. They are human beings after all and to trust them is to place faith in a mythical outcome and hold them responsible for that outcome. They are not responsible for it or for me. If they chose to do things I do not want to be a part of, or if their deeds cause me to not want them in my life anymore, then that is my decision to take. I will not be angry nor sad, I will simply move on.

Many people have tried to convince me of their truth and told me what they thought was appropriate behavior. I have taken what I thought was good and discarded the rest. I do not believe that "the" truth exists. There is only perception. My dreams are as real to me as my everyday life, the dragons and demons I have met are as true as the neighbors and the butcher. My beliefs and actions, the way I choose to live my life and the things I do because of that are as good as anyones and no one has the right to label them as "wrong", "dangerous" or whatever *to me*. They may very well be wrong or dangerous to others, but they are mine.

There is a lot more I could say about all this but for now I think this is enough. All I can add is that living this way has proven to be right for us so far and has pulled us through difficult situations that would have been devastating or even killing to others. It is not an easy path. But as dark, windy and dangerous as it is at times... it also leads along the highest mountain tops and has provided us with insights and beliefs we would never want to live without.

Feel free to comment on anything I have written here. Your thoughts are highly appreciated.