Bladders of Gor

A short piece I wrote as a parody on the Gor Novels by John Norman, from which countless people use quotes in their profiles, on websites etc. I actually think he's a lousy writer, and the way his followers have made what was meant to be a series of science fiction novels into a cult is scary to me. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for D/s and even consentual slavery, but please, don't take yourself too seriously. Anyway.. enjoy ;)



He looked her over, a knowing smile on his face. She wiggled a bit, moving her weight from one leg onto the other, looking up into His eyes for a moment, hers almost begging.... then lowering them once more. Her hand slowly slid along her belly, lower, until it reached the inside of her thigh and then that familiar spot. She rubbed without even realizing she was doing it, her movements faster now, squirming almost as if she were dancing, her rosy skin moist. He smiled big. "well now, is it the fire in your belly causing you to want nothing more, than to please me, girl?" She bit her lower lip, silence, then a soft whisper. "No Master but.. a girl would so love to know where Your bathroom is".

Bladders of Gor, page 257

Favourite Quotes

Here's a bunch of my favourite quotes. I like them for various reasons and collected them over time. They tell you a lot about my outlook on life. So here goes, another shred of my soul... as written by others far more eloquent than myself.


"Impossible is a word humans use too often."
--- Seven of Nine in StarTrek Voyager

"Nils Illigitimus Carborundurum" (never let the bastards grind you down)
Aussie Latin proverb

"To fight and conquer in all our battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting."
--- Sun Tzu in "The art of War"

"I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, His pleasure, His Desires, His life, His work, His sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I dont mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh God, as a woman i want to be Dominated. I dont mind being told to stand on my own two feet, not to cling to all that i am capable of doing but I am pursued, fucked, possessed by the will of a male at His time, His Bidding......"
--- Anais Nin

"Being powerful is like being a lady, if you have to say that you are then you're probably not"
--- M. Thatcher.

"Dream as if you'll live forever... live as if you'll die today."
--- James Dean

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson
3. Follow the three Rs: Respect for self, Respect for others, and Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go some place you've never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
--- Rules for living - The Dalai Lama

"Those who practice and promote Political Correctness are doing a service to society,
as I need to know who to shoot when we take over."
--- Borgia

"A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices."
--- William James

"Don't meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup."
Anonymous Dragon

"Truth gains more even by the errors of one who, with due study and preparation, thinks for himself, than by the true opinions of those who only hold them because they do not suffer themselves to think."
--- John Stuart Mills, On Liberty

"Let me test my mettle against your ambition... let me be the wall you drive into, I will be the one who will weather the storm, not because I love you, but because I can, and for that you will love me.
I am no hero and I am certainly not a martyr... I crave the challenge, it validates my own identity as a power house."
--- Anonymous

"He who is not busy being born is busy dying"
--- Bob Dylan

"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth."
--- Marcus Aurelius

"Wisdom without kindness and knowledge without sobriety are useless."
--- The Fire from within, Carlos Castaneda

"Tunnel vision should never be confused with having a view."
--- Anonymous

"The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule."
--- H.L. Mencken

"I will always be honest with you...and you will either love me or hate me. But at least if you hate me, it will be for who I truly am, not for who I pretend to be."
--- Anonymous

"The most severe disability a person could possibly have can not be seen
on the physical body or heard by the physical ear... But it comes from within...
The most severe disability a person could possibly have is a
negative attitude, because you are saying, it's not possible, it's not true,
but worst of all, you're saying, you can't."
--- Anonymous

"There are two kinds of strengths:
the strength to lead,
and the strength to follow;
the strength to control,
and the strength to yield.
There are two kinds of power:
the power to strip another's soul bare,
and the power to stand naked."
--- Gurumayi Chidvilasananda

"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat."
--- Theodore Roosevelt

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall."
--- Confucius

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."
--- Bill Cosby

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
--- Eleanor Roosevelt

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."
--- John Lennon

"People will always talk about you, especially when they envy you and the life you live. Let them... you affected their lives, they didn't affect yours."
--- Anonymous

"Destiny is not a matter of chance; it's a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thing to be achieved."
--- William Jennings Bryan

"I can accept failure, but I can't accept not trying."
--- Michael Jordan

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
--- Margaret Mead

"Man does not cease to play because he grows old, he grows old because he ceases to play."
--- Drew Lachey

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the former."
--- Albert Einstein

"Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people."
--- Anonymous

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
--- Dr. Suess

"Excellence can be achieved if you . . . risk more than others think is safe, love more than others think is wise, dream more than others think is practical, and expect more than others think is possible."
--- Anonymous

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."
--- Anonymous

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all."
--- Oscar Wilde

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish he didn't trust me so much."
--- Mother Theresa

"Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say."
--- Anonymous

"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds."
--- Albert Einstein

"Once in a while you will stumble upon the truth but most of us manage to pick ourselves up and hurry along as if nothing had happened."
--- Winston Churchill

"Worrying is like being in a rocking chair, It gives you something to do but does not get you anywhere."
--- Anonymous

"Nothing is as real as a dream. The world can change around you, but your dream will not. Responsibilities need not erase it. Duties need not obscure it. Because the dream is within you, no one can take it away."
--- Tom Clancy

"Enter every activity without giving mental recognition to the possibility of defeat. Concentrate on your strengths, instead of your weaknesses . . . on your powers, instead of your problems."
--- Paul J. Meyers

"Failure is not fatal. Only failure to get back up is."
--- John C. Maxwell

"By the time you are old enough to know that your parents were right, you have children of your own that think you are wrong."
--- Anonymous

"Most relationships are not made in heaven. They come in kits and you have to put them together yourselves."
--- Anonymous

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear not absence of fear."
--- Mark Twain

"A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle."
--- Erin Majors

The Invitation

I found this somewhere on the Internet and it left me speechless. So, thought I'd share it here as well. To me, this is the essence of connecting with people.

The Invitation - by Oriah Mountain Dreamer


It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

Ravin' Mad

Many if not most of the friends I have made over time, online as well as in real life, are amongst the people that would be considered crazy, mad, mentally ill and various other wordings by society as a whole. They have either been diagnosed with mental illnesses according to the DSM IV bible, or people consider them mad because they think and act differently than most other people. They don't fit the general public's picture of "normal", and as a result of this they have often had, and at times are still having, a difficult life.

The funny thing is that "mad" seems to be something largely depending on the standards of the people surrounding the "mad" person. It is largely defined by cultural and social standards, it depends on where and when the "mad" person lives and who they interact with. There is also a thin line between being considered mad, and being considered a genius and ahead of one's time. Both Newton and Einstein for instance were considered raving lunatics by society during their time. Nowadays we see them a lot different. A shaman, interacting with spirits, healing the sick both physically and mentally is seen as a holy man by his tribe.. but if I told my doctor I do the very same thing I may very well end up in a mental hospital where they will do their very best to convince me there is no such thing as talking with the spirits, diagnose me with schizophrenia and stuff me with pills that make those weird ideas go away. Truth, as always, is in the eye of the beholder.

So why am I writing all this? because I wanted to tell you I am extremely grateful for all the "mad" people I have the honor of calling my friends. I salute them, for having the guts to be different. I watch them fight their demons, from a distance or sometimes from very close by because I am a part of that struggle and fight by their side. I stand in awe listening to their out of the box ideas, their perceptions that at times have helped me a tremendous lot with mine. I admire their courage as I watch them deal with things that are impossible to deal with as they go through deep depressions, manic periods, terrible nightmares. I am as over the moon as they are when they tell me about sightings, new connections, battles they have won and the light they discovered at the end of the tunnel. And most of all.. I admire their warmth. The warmth that can only be felt from people who are real, true to themselves, facing both the darkness and the light inside them. Ravin' mad people are the best.

Tarzan

I wrote this piece a while back for a Dutch website on female sexuality and thought I would share it here, too. Enjoy!

Tarzan

I have never been into vibrators. Never seen what's so exciting about shoving a buzzing thing inside my most tender bits. Don't get me wrong, I like sex a lot and can keep on going for hours in a row. Masturbation can also be extremely good but I prefer the old fashioned way.. I have two hands and I know how to use them. No vibrating plastic for me, thank you very much.

Until a friend came to visit. Her hair a mess, stars in her eyes. And an hour late. "It's because of Tarzan" she said. At first I thought she had a new boyfriend, but it soon turned out the jungleman she was speaking of was a vibrating substitute. Although, substitute... Much, much better according to her. Cumming like a train over and over again. I saw that familiar glow in my Love's eyes and could see the mental image in his mind: me, using a thing like that, having orgasm after orgasm. A show he was clearly looking forward to.

And so I wasn't really surprised when the next day he came home carrying one of them unsuspicious suspicious looking bags from the sex shop and another bag filled with so many batteries they could provide sound and movement to my kids' toys for the next couple of months. But it was clear that was not what they were for. From the sexshop bag emerged my new lover. "Black Tarzan" it said on the box, and once freed from the box he turned out to have brought some friends. Tarzan himself was in the middle, looking like a cross eyed alien with an anatomically utterly incorrect head. Behind him, some sort of worm was sticking out of the block the whole thing was attached to. And in front of him, facing him, was a retarded monkey with a very, very long pointy tongue. I provided Tarzan and his petshop with the necessary batteries and then started test round one while my Love was supervising the whole thing.

Tarzan was a bit of a sticky character made out of very soft rubber. One slider on the block was for controlling Tarzan himself, who as soon as the whole thing was switched on started rotating his hips like a Hawaii dancer. The other slider controlled the monkey, and as soon as that one was switched on it broke into a heavy attack of Parkinsons and started trembling all over. The worm was somewhat vibrating along with all that. Anal stimulation for women still is an area largely unexplored.

I pushed Tarzan's alien head where it belonged. This automatically placed the monkey's tongue in the correct position: right on top of my clit. The worm was doing something vague around the back but hey, one look at him was enough to know he was never going to achieve anything substantial anyhow.

Now this was something. Gently, very gently I moved both sliders up towards a medium position. The whole thing came alive. Tarzan danced his dance and made an awful lot of noise, the monkey was doing it's best but all in all it wasn't brilliant. Allrighty, on to plan B. Both sliders, to the max. I was going to tame jungleman and have my way with him, him and his illegal pets. I was going to make him sweat and work for it.

Full speed now. Tarzan himself moaned, turned and buzzed even louder and the whole block started moving. The monkey was now digging into my tender flesh like mad, its razorsharp tongue creating a sensation much like my dentists polishing machine. It took me less than a minute to reach an orgasm that wasn't all that good and primarily painful. And I had to shut off the vibrator right after that because once the rush was gone all it caused me was incredible pain.

Come on girl, stay with it. I must be doing something wrong here. Start slowly, increasing speed slowly. After all, cars have to be broken in too, so the same probably goes for this thing. Yawn. My jungle lover had never even heard of decent foreplay. This was soporific. But as soon as speed was set to one notch higher he made the same mistake he made earlier. Full speed to the finish, painfully good but most of all painful, burning, itchy!

Burning? Itchy? Removed the whole thing and thoroughly examined the place it had been in. Bright red all over. Rinsing it with lots of water helped some, but not much and the burning and itching continued. It lasted for days. Allergic to the sticky type of rubber the whole thing was coated with. And so, apart from being a lousy lover, Tarzan turned out to have given me an ETD. Dickhead.

Weeks later he was given another chance. A condom over his head. Which didn't help, because his pets are made of the same material and once more the experiment caused me lots of misery. And I wasn't all that enthusiastic about the illustrious three to begin with.

I broke up with him. I was all out of love. My significant other, who at first had watched the whole thing grinning but didn't like the results any more than I did, totally agreed. Maybe I am spoiled rotten sexually, unable to enjoy the joys of jungle love any longer. I really don't know. But the conclusion is crystal clear: You Tarzan.. me definitely not Jane.

A song in my heart

I love music. I always have. In my moments of sadness, it is music that brings a smile back on my face. In my moments of utter joy, it is music that makes me dance and express what I feel. When I worry, have a problem I can't seem to solve, feel something I cannot quite put to words.. there's always music, a song on the radio making me see where to go or what to do, somebody whistling a tune that suddenly makes me realize what's going on or find the solution I was looking for.

I also communicate an awful lot through music. When my kids feel down I will play them happy songs. When I want to tell a friend or a beloved one something but find no words to do so, music will often provide what I need to get the message through. For quite some time I was an Internet DJ, providing music for a dance club in an online game I play. People there often told me what I played was just what they needed at that moment. I guess that is the empath in me at work, sensing the mood and coloring it with music, enhancing it, or balancing it.

So why is it so friggin' hard to express what I feel right now? Why am I sitting here, browsing through the thousands of MP3's on my harddisk, unable to find a single one that says it all? Playing bits of many songs, only to find myself hitting the stop button over and over again. Noooh, that's not it, noooh, not even remotely close, no, no, NO!

Why? Because this time it's different. This time, there is a connection deeper than anything I have experienced before. Not a crush, not a feeling of falling in love head over heels instantly. This is wanton lust mixing with profound friendship, a cuddle and a primal roar, waves crashing and motionless understanding, one blending into the other and all equally good. Warm and deep and scary as hell because it goes straight to my core, through all the shields surrounding it as if they weren't even there. I try to fight it, deny it, wondering where he got the keys only to find that since I am the only one who has them it must be me who gave them to him, somewhere, somehow, at some point in time, without even realizing it.

Wondering, pondering.. then realizing it really is not all that important why. And that no matter how hard I try to fight it or reason it away, he is under my skin. Belonging there somehow. Making me whole by being an equal, giving me as much as I give him. Awakening what has been asleep for a long time. Bringing me to life.

And suddenly I find the song I want to hear. It's by Evanescence, one of my favourite bands. I have heard it numerous times before but this time the lyrics hit me like a ton of bricks. That's my soul crying out and the call being answered.

Hmmz, smiling again. Thank gawd for music.