The Dung Movie

Rich is a long term friend. We have never met in real life, but our conversations online are often so hilarious I end up laughing until it hurts. Here's just one of them, shared with permission. Just read. And to Rich: You're great.

Rich: This guy is engineering synthetic life to eat CO2 and turn it into fuel.
Kitten: hope he knows what he's doing and doesn't end up creating something that eats oxygen and turns it into cow dung
Rich: *laughing*
Kitten: admit it, that would be a great theme for a scifi horror movie
Rich: *laughs*
It has merit!
Kitten: the tension, the suspense.. will they choke first, or drown in shit?
Rich: Oh dear! No doubt in smell-o-vision.
Kitten: "Revenge of the Turds"
Rich: Eew!
Kitten: Hmm *starts writing* Not so long ago.. in a galaxy actually quite close to home.. one man.. on a mission.. the goal.. to save the planet.. the result.. too gross for words
Rich: laughing
As long as I am not in it!
Kitten: oooh, we will all be.. in it.. up to our necks, and worse..
Rich: Hm, not into that!
Kitten: it's all your fault, you triggered my insanely sadistic mind
Rich: I'm innocent.
Kitten: Hmm.. maybe you are.. you could be the hero trying to save us all by flying into space with a huge bomb and blowing something up....no wait, wrong movie
Rich: *laughs* You're not making a movie about dung.
Kitten: why not? it hasn't been dung before and I think humanity is ready for it. I mean, they've been watching shitty movies for decades, it's time we take this to the next level.
Rich: *laughs* That's qualitative dung rather than content!
Kitten: Why yes, of course. But doesn't it prove there is an actual, and huge, need for it?
Rich: No-absence could imply no demand!
Kitten: *sighs* Look. It's much like people watching documentaries about nudism only because they can't afford the porn channel. Watching shitty movies is simply a case of settling for less, because the real thing is not available.
Rich: But other videos are a commodity and are available at low prices?
Kitten: And if that doesn't convince you, just watch the news. Shit, multiple times a day, all over the planet.
It's even in our language.. how often do we say: shit happens?
Rich: I don't really watch the news-I read it on web sites now. The television news is rather stupid.
Kitten: You even admit it yourself, can't count the times I've heard you say: I feel like shit
Rich: *laughs*
Oh hush!
*spanks a bit*
Kitten: You're just jealous I thought of this brilliant plan first
Rich: Not really-I am perverted and like touching your ass.
Kitten: See? Ass. Even subconsciously, you are expressing a preference for the body part that produces.. exactly!
Rich: I don't want to BEEP your ass, just grope it.
Kitten: You're in denial
Rich: Isn't that a river in Africa?
Kitten: No. That's The Nile. Although those bathing in it are indeed in denial. It's very polluted with.. guess what.
Rich: Arabs?
Kitten: Well that too.
*laughing*
*bites your nose* well.. stay in The Nile if you want to. I'm phoning some movie making friends about my idea.
Hmm.. better make movie making friends, first