Nils Illigitimus Carborandum

This must be one of the most difficult periods in my life. Our house is for sale and we have no idea where to go once it's sold. Our financial troubles are major, and for some reason we can't seem to find jobs that solve the situation. Although I have started working again, part-time as a telemarketeer we still are in it up to our necks.

I have never been very good at facing insecurities. I neeeed to know what's next, and when, and how. Not knowing is killing for a control freak like myself, and the fact that we have kids we feel extremely responsible for doesn't make it any easier.

But somehow, we manage to not only keep on fighting, but smile during the bigger part of the battle. For some reason, we are still going strong, still laughing a lot, still having many great moments as a family. Friends and acquaintances who know about our situation ask us: how can you go on and be so happy? I would be worried sick and not sleep a wink if I were you.

The answer is simple. A mixture of the old saying "count your blessings" and determination. Plus the three most important things in martial arts: focus, focus, focus. All this boils down to doing what we can when we can, and not worrying about a thing the rest of the time. Enjoy the good things we do have, our relationship, the kids, the warmth of this household and our friends. Simple things like reading good books or watching thought provoking programs and films. And no, it doesn't work all the time, we have our moments of sadness and despair. But never for long.

For some reason, life itself has decided to throw us a curved ball. There is very little we can do about that fact, but we do have a choice in how we respond to it. We chose to fight. To keep our heads up. To not let it get to us. The "Latin with a wink" saying I chose as the title for this entry says it all. Nils Illigitimus Carborandum. Don't let the bastards grind you down.