Shadow's 3.5 month evaluation

The newest member of our family (or is it: zoo?) is now 3.5 months old. Our black labrador Shadow has grown immensely during this time, and went from a tiny puppy to an already pretty big dog. I spoke to him earlier today and let him evaluate the time he has spent with us so far. Hey, all the big companies are doing it, so why not us.This is the feedback I got from him.

Let me start by saying that overall, I like my new job a lot. The humans here are friendly and for the most part seem adequate at what they do. They just seem a bit touchy at times. I felt particularly welcomed by the felines that seem to be everywhere in this house. Whenever I approached one they immediately took me jogging around the living room, the workout usually ending in them jumping on top of something. They probably don't realize I can't jump that high and follow them there, but it was a nice gesture nevertheless. I did have to get used to their way of greeting me. They outstretch their front paw and lash out at my nose. it hurts a bit, but I suppose it is their way of saying hello. I try to avoid it when I can but since they're so helpful when it comes to helping me exercise, it is something I have learnt to live with.

The humans have provided me with lots of useful things, such as food bowls and tons of toys that are scattered around the house. For some reason they don't like me gnawing on the toys they sometimes put on their feet and they get particularly nasty when I take things with buttons on them or when I gnaw on stuff from the desks they are often sitting on. The small humans also get upset a lot when I take things from the big toybox in the living room and play with them, my way. I can't help the fact my teeth need lots of things to gnaw on, and they can't expect me to know the difference between what they want me to gnaw on and what they don't want me to gnaw on. If it's within reach, I'll rip it to shreds. I'm a dog, it's what I do.

Another thing that is not going all that well yet is my disposing of bodily waste. I mean, if I gotta go, I gotta go, you know. Sometimes it happens before even I realize it. At other times, I try to attract their attention but somehow they fail to see it, and then they get angry when it ends up on the floor. I think they prefer me to do it outside, when they take me there. Why is beyond me, I know for sure they themselves never do it outside. My nose works just fine, I know what they do behind that closed door in the tiny room with the huge bowl in it. I guess it is because I am the newcomer. Maybe in due time I will graduate to the level where I get to do it in the tiny room, too.

I have learned lots of useful things here. Let me end this evaluation by sharing a few of them with you:
- Examining the vacuumcleaner by sticking your nose into the end of the hose while the thing is on, is a bad plan.
- Grabbing your stone water bowl and dragging it over the wooden floor is a guaranteed way to draw attention to the fact you'd like to have it refilled.
- It is a scientific fact that growing means things you used to be able to run under/hide in/walk through when you were a tiny puppy get smaller over time, to the point where you get totally stuck in them.
-Cats are great fun to chase. They are a lot less fun to chase when there is more than one cat in the room. They tend to team up on you.While you are busy chasing the first one, the second one will appear out of nowhere and go directly for your nose.

And last, but certainly not least:
- Big puppy eyes and a soft whimper have no effect on big male humans busy cleaning your poo off their feet at 6:30 in the morning.