The L word

I would like to talk to you about the L word. No, not the TV series, nor lesbians. I mean Love, and more specifically: love related to online connections. Is it even possible to love somebody you only know from online? Can you connect to someone at that level without ever having looked them into the eye, without ever having held them in your arms? And for those of us into D/s: Is it possible to truly submit, or dominate, online?

My personal experience is that yes, I can, deeply and profoundly. But after giving my heart and having it handed back to me on a platter multiple times, I have also learned to guard my heart like a fortress. To me, the whole online world, and specifically SecondLife as that is where I can usually be found when online, is an integrated part of my life. It is a way to get in touch with people I would otherwise never meet. I am very much the same me, here and there, because I do not separate them. I realize that is rare. Most people I meet on SL see the "two lifes" as completely separate. Many profiles state that "RL is RL and SL is SL and let's keep it that way" or similar things. For me, that doesn't work. My feelings are real, I am incapable of "playing" emotions. Which I guess makes me vulnerable, because lots of people are quite capable of doing so.

Another thing I have noticed is that people do an awful lot of projecting, when on SL. They meet a beautiful avatar, fall in love, and in their mind this person becomes everything they have always dreamed of. They forget the person behind the avatar is very much human, probably not as stunningly beautiful as their avatar, and imperfect like all humans are. I have had that happen to me, repeatedly. And I have had to deal with the disappointment, even anger, from people when they finally realized I wasn't this dream woman they had turned me into in their mind.

And so, here's the deal. If you want to be a part of my life, you are more than welcome. If you want to conquer my heart, feel free to try. But know this. I am not here to play someone I am not. I will not let myself be turned into your fantasy, nor will I allow you to make me the center of your universe.. you will not be the center of mine, either. I already have a complete and quite fulfilling life, and my family is and always will be first on my priority list. I am polyarmorous by nature, and so the fact I love you does not mean I don't love anyone else, and it certainly doesn't mean I don't love my husband and am looking for an online substitute. If all this is a level of reality you cannot handle, then you and I won't get along well.

Still reading? Excellent, let's play. Or.. not play, rather. Let's be.

Universal Chess

What is my role, my lady? said the bishop to the queen
I cannot fight this battle along strategies unseen
The lady smiled and told him this: You.. you are here for me
And you need doing nothing else than this one thing: just be
You are right where you need to be so worry not, my friend
This war is really just a game and like all games it ends
Stand by my side, I need you here, with all your special traits
When in the end the game turns war, the evil horde invades
and wants my blood against all cost.. but then there will be you
and trust me darling, by that time you'll know just what to do