Joy

A scream from the bathroom. "MOM!! I am having my period!" I smile big as she comes running out, straight into my arms. I catch her and hold her close. "Congratulations, I already suspected that would be the reason for your belly aches these past few days. Now remember what I told you about all this, it's nothing to worry out, just a sign you're becoming a woman. Your belly is now officially ready to have babies." She looks up at me and lets out a heartfelt "eeeewww!!" and we both laugh, remembering our last conversation about sex which she ended by going "Mom.. they use that thing to pee with. Why would I want that inside me??"

Twelve years old, entering the next stage of her development. It brings back a ton of memories in me. From the very first time I had my period (I was almost 17, and worried sick I would never become a woman) but also the difficult circumstances under which she was born. The emergency caesarian after only 7 months of pregnancy which brought her into this world, leaving both her and me fighting for our life but winning the battle, against all odds. The surgeon, asking me if I had a name for the baby and me, half conscious, instantly thinking of a name: "If she survives, there is only one name to properly express what I feel.. her name will be Joy". The doctors at the IC for premature babies being majorly concerned and telling us they had no idea what would become of her, but that the chances of her being severely handicapped were large. Her biological father who at that point seriously considered the option of taking her off all the equipment keeping her alive, and letting her die. And me, literally standing in between her and him, speaking the three words I hardly ever use, but if I do it is very obvious I mean business: "No.. fucking.. way." Followed by a much friendlier, but just as certain: "She'll be fine."

And she is fine. Yes, she has PDD-NOS, a form of autism. She is not the average kid and there are many things she'll never be able to do like a "normal" kid. But she is a beautiful, warm, incredibly creative child, who makes the most amazing art and videos on her computer, can sing very well, and has an outlook on life that is simply fascinating to listen to. She works with energies like a fully trained shaman, and all in all she is simply wonderful. I'll be the first to admit she can be extremely tiring as well, needing lots of attention and sucking tons of energy but even though at times I feel drained, I wouldn't trade her for anything. She is, and always will be, my pride and Joy.

I.. have.. the power!

Remember the line I used as the title for this entry? It comes from "He-man, Masters of the Universe". He-Man, the hero of the cartoon, would hold his sword up into the air, shout that line, and the power would run down into the sword straight from the heavens.

I see a similar thing happening online a lot. In SecondLife, the online virtual world I am a part of, there are many self proclaimed rulers. They buy or rent a piece of land, build something on it, declare themselves king, queen or whatever title they assume, and other people will use the facilities thus created and treat the person in charge as if they were indeed a king, queen or the like. And there is nothing wrong with that. Roleplaying can be a great pastime, as long as all involved realize that is what it is: assuming, and playing a *role*.

The trouble begins when self proclaimed rulers aren't really fit to rule. Chances of this happening are large. The fact alone that somebody feels the need to be an online king, says a lot about this person. Well balanced, strong, capable leaders usually have already achieved a leading role in their offline life. They don't need another leading role in an online world, in fact they are glad to just relax online. They also usually don't have the time to be online as often as is required to run a virtual kingdom, fantasy world or city.

More often than not, drama will sooner or later hit the fan in online kingdoms and the like. Occasionally when that happens the people in charge turn out to be good leaders and solve the problems, everybody learns their lesson, and virtual life goes on as usual.
But that is the exception, not the rule. The rule is the insecure, way too emotionally involved self proclaimed rulers will see whatever happens as a personal attack and lash out in anger or sadness. Phase two consists of part of their followers leaving, and another part trying to patch things up. And after that the fate of the online kingdom depends on how fast the ruler is able to bring back balance, primarily within themselves.

Good, well managed online kingdoms will survive most storms. People will come and go, but as long as the concept is solid, the course is clear and the ruler rules without acting like a drama queen (pun intended), there will always be a core group of people who enjoy spending their online time there. But it does take a strong back to carry an online world. If you can't take the heat.. stay out of the Royal kitchen.